Defiance ... it ain't just a town in Ohio

Yesterday was another rough day. Long day at the office, and while i didn't eat as a bad as I had on Tuesday, my insomnia fueled 2 AM snack didn't go well with the bottom line. 314 on the scale this morning was not the kind of thing I was happy to wake up to.

I want to thank the readers that responded (both publicly and privately) to yesterdays frustration laced post with reassurance and encouragement. It's not like I've been gaining weight (until last night anyways) or not exercising. I just got this sudden feeling of being overwhelmed and didn't see any of those things going away any time soon.

I am taking some of the advice from the users who responded:

1. I've come way too far to let a rough few days get me down. Usually, there's a post-race "high" that comes off having put another goal to bed, especially one like this last race where the training I've been doing reflected in the race. This time, there was sort of an emotional crash because the race was followed by so much stress, and we didn't really have time to take a few days to take it easy. I guess taking it easy will happen in October.

2. Adjusting my goals. While we're doing 4 more races between now and the end of September, only one of those races really requires me to be at my absolute best (Timberman). The next race, the MA State triathlon is a chance to get feedback on our longer training sessions and get us used to longer distance races. While I'll still set goals, and do my best on that day, I am not going to get all caught up in performance. You can only be in peak condition so many times in a season. As long as my times come back at or under what I'd need to do to finish Timberman, I'll be happy. The race following Timberman we're doing as part of the regional club championship, so I want to do well, but finishing is what matters. Finally, there's a month between the club championship and my last race of the year. That should give me plenty of time to rest up and prepare, with my primary goal just to beat last years time.

3. Enjoy myself. I've been putting a lot of stress on myself about not just my goals but my training as well. Sometimes you just have to have fun with it. I really enjoy swimming, and I find it's a terrific workout that doesn't always feel like I'm working. I LOVE LOVE LOVE being on my bike, and if it weren't for the fact that the shower is currently broken at work, I'd ride to work a ton. It's a great way to wake up, and I like doing it even when we have other morning workouts. I still suck at running, and I hate that I haven't made more progress. The only thing I can do there is keep on my weight loss and training, because getting lighter and stronger will make me faster.

Those are the three biggest things that I took from what folks had to say, and I really will take them to heart. It will help me think about how I want to look at things when I don't perform to the level I think I'm capable of. I am going to use these thoughts along with my past accomplishments to become defiant to the negative thoughts and pressures of the day and not let them affect my long term goals or happiness.

Notes:

- The Chase Corporate Challenge is today. It's a 3.5 mile run/walk made up of employees from a bunch of different companies. There are over 10,000 people doing the race today, and the weather will be either hot and humid or thunderstorms. Probably some combination of both. The nice thing about this race is that to get ready all I have to do is go home, get my workout stuff on, and walk about a mile to the east as the race takes place right in my neighborhood. So I've got that going for me. Plus a bunch of folks from the office are participating, so they'll get to meet Rach and we'll have some fun together.

- Last night amongst the other comments and emails I got about my recent posts, I heard from John Y, or as you may know him from my race recap as "The Little Guy". Apparently, I misused the term midget in describing him, and he asked if I could use the correct term. Of course I was more than happy to make the change for him. My whole intent in pointing out his performance on the bike was to highlight one thing: A person who falls outside the "norm" when it comes to a sport shouldn't feel like they can't or shouldn't compete.
   Being fat is something that happened to me through my own choices, but I am still judged differently than other competitors. At least once a week, I hear a derisive remark during training as to what I'm doing (This weeks was the simple "Fat guys shouldn't wear spandex"), so I can only imagine what folks who have other more significant differences from the norm go through. John is truly a class act on and off the course, and should serve as an inspiration for people not letting what some perceive as limitations get in the way of achieving his athletic goals. You can read his ongoing story at http://teamcompmightyjy.blogspot.com/. I've added his blog to the Readers that Write section as well.

- Haven't had a chance to get photos of the new Rudy Project gear I won in the contest, but I definitely will this weekend prior to our big ride.